Vibrant Transitions

This 6 Step plan was taken from Dr.'s John & Julie Gottmans book, And Baby Makes Three and part of the Bringing Baby Home workshops. To learn more about the workshops please visit the Bringing Baby Home Program page. For workshops scheduled in the Sacramento and Boise, ID area see the Class Schedules page.

To learn more about the 3 mistakes new parents make read the article in Sacramento Parent Magazine here.

A 6 Step Plan

1. Realize that we are all in the same soup.

We all experience sleep deprivation and unrealistic expectations after the baby arrives. Choose to cope well with the challenges of becoming parents and understand that all of this is normal and not the fault of our partner or results of a bad relationship.

2. Delight in responding to your baby.

Babies are able to interact with us moments after being born. They are amazing in what they can do and respond to. Listen and act on your instincts of how you respond to baby's cues. Touching babies including infant massage has shown to be of great benefit to the developing body and mind of young children.

3. Cool down your conflicts

You are still going to fight about the same issues, the important part is HOW you handle conflict. In the book and workshop you can learn the process for conflict management.

4. Savor each other by building a strong friendship and a zesty sex life.

Make sure you stay close friends and make sex a priority. In the workshop you learn many ways to keep turning towards your partner and keeping the romance sparks flying.

5. Add warm fathering to the mix.

Research showe that when relationship satisfaction between mom and dad were high then dads were more involved with the children. If the relationship satisfaction was low then dads withdrew from both mom and child.  Moms try and back off your standards a bit and give our men some autonomy. Dads try and accept influence from mom regarding home/baby care and respect their standards.

6. Create an enriching legacy.

There is something inside of us that compels us to seek meaning, to build something beyond ourselves. Having shared goals and values help couples to navigate the ups and downs of family life. Family rituals are important in modeling these shared values to the children.